Raggin' Piano Boogie

 

 
HIS SPIRIT LIVES ON! ... BONER, THE PIANO DOG ... November 27, 1994 ... February 20, 2010

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February 25, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

Today was the annual Rock and Roll Marathon where about 50,000 people run up and down the Las Vegas strip a few hundred feet from my room. I am always tempted to take the Traveling Piano out for it as it would be a great addition, absolutely perfect, in fact I used to get paid for events like this. The idea of being featured, the exposure to so many people is totally tempting again, especially considering that it would without question be one of the most memorable sights and sounds of the event for more than half of the people. But... I just could not justify adding to an event that makes in the hundred millions and be entertainment for people paying hundreds of bucks just to participate while myself getting nothing but the fun of it? I'd rather have fun with my neighbors for free and thats how I spent the day on the street in Arts Square while remembering that exposure is worthless unless being used in a specific way to profit from.

February 24, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

After celebrating Mo's birthday yesterday wow, life is changing. We took a nice walk but short compared to past years. I can tell when Mo has had enough as when we start out, he runs loose and free and as he begins to tire I find him simply walking, following close behind right in back of me. Thats when I say, ok time to head back. We had some of our special time together in a lounge chair I brought with us. He laid on my stomach to take a nap while I laid there in the sun on an absolutely perfect day. On the way home I picked up a steak as a dinner treat for him. Life felt chaotic for me once we got home. I cooked the steak and tried to make it last for him by giving pieces at a time. There was nothing special for him in getting it. He just gobbled it up as fast as I could give it to him and that was that. Today was about getting back to normal? Mo's birthday was a big deal for me yesterday. His living to see 14 years of age, I am just so grateful. It was the most favorite day of my life so far.

February 23, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada


February 22, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

Used to be throughout life, after a full strong work day with the Traveling Piano it would take two days to recover. Now... it can take four days of rest to feel strong and ok again. Thats crazy. And, there is no pacing to be had. Once I get going it is always full blast into what I am doing and that just... "it is what it is". I can accept no less for myself. When I performed for a living it was called being a "professional." I've been feeling out different places to play around people here where I live downtown. On the Main Street when there are a lot of people, that does not feel comfortable for me. Actually, it might be out of fear? I try to rationalize, in a place with less people there is no concern with giving everyone my attention. With a lot of people I will be perceived as entertainment or a busker. With more people comes more chance of someone complaining. Blah, blah... I think its just fear for all the same lifelong stupid reasons that make no sense.

February 21, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada




February 20, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada


February 19, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

I could not get it together today to do anything I wanted to do or had planned to do. Mo and I ended up at a local park and had some nice interactions. Finishing up on my thoughts from a few days ago concerning trust... When fear, angry about whatever, uncertainty, disappointment, etc... begins to take control, I work to "turn it over" to the truth of spirit, the God of my understanding and spend time in "that" reality. When I am able to do it, the end result is trust in the realization that everything is good, everything is ok, everything will turn out ok, it is all good and we are all loved. I "must" work to stay in the truth of spirit through these most difficult of times. It takes practice. There is no better or worse than ever before. There is only the present moment. That is the reality of life and it can only be known through trust.

February 18, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

I was going to go for three days in a row with the Traveling Piano and I am so glad I did not. When I wake up I feel fine and strong and clear but once I get going after a few hours the work form the last few days hit me hard with no energy and feeling physically weak. I went to lunch with my next door neighbor, it happens about once a year. That felt good of course. I've had some really bad neighbors... really bad. Right now the two I have are awesome! Its been a social few days with work too. As I go through them I am sort of moving from one thing to the next living very much in the present moment because that is all I can do. Life takes all my focus when in action. Originally we were going to have lunch at Ihop the low budget pancake house with food to match? A broccoli cheese omelet with nothing else was twenty bucks. Lol, I was like... no way thats over twice the worth. We left and went over to my friends pizza place.

January 17, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

Another nice day, we took to Main Street here in Las Vegas and it was fine. I need to get out and about with stimulating people in order to get going. We feed on each other to enjoy the best of life. I met a really sharp group of guys from LA, a band playing at the new Fontainebleau Casino close by and that felt just soo... good along with many other locals and visitors. At night I was treated to a play in a small theater here downtown that I've never been to. There are many places within a few blocks of where I live that I've never been to. It has been many years since I've been to a play. It was excellent and I am so reminded how I need the stimulation of art in all its forms as well as people.


January 16, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

What a beautiful day! Along with any great day I think about whats coming in a few months and how I need to get out of here before the summer in order to survive. The heat is going to be too much to handle especially for Mo. A possible new friend and I met up for lunch in Art Square downtown. I shared the Traveling Piano with people while waiting and that began to take over the day. I'm thinking about where I can set up as a home base with the Traveling Piano to showcase it for some funding. Its tricky finding a place where it will work stationary for a period of time and then there is the getting permission. People need to be pushed, nagged, pleaded to and pestered these days. They lead you on incessantly. I am not into any of that, never was, never will be. I don't chase people down. I expect people to treat me as I treat them... with respect.


February 15, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

The weather was really nice today so I took Mo out for a little nature. He was ecstatic. We went to an area where there would be no people. I wanted to experience silence. Only over head planes bothered us. Two runners passed us. I've been so fortunate to enjoy so much nature on his journey in so many places with no human interference whatsoever. We did not last too long. I forgot Mo's water bowl which is a necessity. He drank out of my hand a little. Once I saw his back legs giving way it was time to return to the truck. Traversing rocks and stones are difficult for him as his arthritis has worn away the bones for his joints. At least I think that is how it works. He clearly enjoys life in every way through any pain. It is amazing to see. Me... I judge how little, how much, compare my ability with the past, beat myself up for my limitations... it is all just worthless. I want to be more like Mo.

February 14, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

Still thinking from yesterday... When deciding who or what to trust in the world for the sake of healthy and maturing relationship, I "practice" seeking the God of my understanding in everything. I believe that God speaks through other people. When I trust in faith, I cannot go wrong and everything has always worked out for the best. I mean that... it has never failed, not once. And, the God of my understanding removes all suffering for me when I am able to connect rightly. When making a decision in life through God (not the interpretations of God others preach) right or wrong... never once has a thought or action been a fail. Every possilbe mistake has miraculously turned into a desired manifestation, miraculously and better than I could have ever imagined. Preaching is of an authoritarian mindset. Experiencing the actions of others facilitates a natural trust through personal choice.

February 13, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

I've been thinking... What I have to say is not what I think as much as the result of my life's experience, strength and hope. Living here on earth is a process of trust in relationship. That is with everything that exists on every level of reality. Without, trust our minds have no grounding or understanding needed in life for the ability to function. We must "trust" intuitiveness and instinct to survive. If our minds become warped, nothing exists but confusion, need, anger, frustration, rage. There can be no trust in any of that. We must... believe in a power greater than ourselves in order to trust. One cannot exist without the other. Human beings in of themselves do not own intuitiveness and instinct anymore than they own the earth itself. Faith equals trust. For me, the power greater than myself is the God of my understanding defined by friendliness, goodness, benevolence and love.

February 12, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

I am so glad yesterday is over. In never reading the past blog entries, I think I was talking about how events and happenings no longer stimulate me, at least I've been thinking about that. It is like there is nothing new to see or experience just the same old in different ways in life. And then, today I hooked into the Rio Carnival in Brazil happening live on Youtube. Of course I've known about this parade for all my life and how big it is but never saw it. I've actually played with the Traveling Piano in the Philadelphia Mummer's parades and even in New Orleans for the Argo Mardi Gras parade. But, those parades are not even a compare with RIo. That parade... wow, I'd love to be there in person to experience that energy. I was watching the Samba groups and with the customs, dancing, singing and music... it was like a hundred thousand people all in a meditation of celebration together and ongoing for hours.

February 11, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

Ok, I am dealing with this Superbowl day like I do with Christmas, Thanksgiving and all the other big days of the year. I headed out to the streets with the Traveling Piano to be with everyone else who is a loser like myself. We are not really losers... I just say it that way tongue-in-cheek as none of us are the "pretty" people in life, those rich and in the limelight of the media world. That saying... fame is fleeting... is really true. Even when you have it the feeling wears off fast. Feeling part of, one of, adding to each others lives and life creates a feeling of being worthy, alive, not alone and full of self-respect. This, from the validation and reassurance we give each other on the streets. Human Beings are basically social animals wanting to be together. No matter the wealth, prestige, life accomplishment... at the core we all just want to be accepted together, valued, to love and be loved in return. Of course having a lot of money and people looking at you as though you are "special" has its perks tho...

February 10, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

Anyone who is anybody is in Las Vegas right now for the Superbowl and here I am living on the Strip in Las Vegas feeling like nobody. Am I anybody? Lol, I feel like I want to be invisible and I am actually a little jealous that I am not part of any of it. That is my own fault. I did nothing to be part of anything. Constantly, I ask myself... do I want to be part of any of it? Of course, but I do not want to do any of the work or put any effort out what-so-ever. I don't even want to take a shower for it, lol! I drove by the Sphere lit up for the first time. Its Big! There are really not many people around anywhere although the media is hyping the 300,000 people coming to the city for the event. Many times a year that many people come for different reasons, the big conventions, other big events, etc... There are not many people on the streets because they are all at their own parties and such. Money making is not much more than hype. I'm trying not to feel like a loser while my Superbowl dream passes me by... once again.

February 09, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

Its been awhile since I created a Superbowl visualization. This one posted for today is a little late to manifest, eh? As I see it... I did not realize Allegiant Stadium here in Las Vegas is domed and the original Traveling Piano Wildest Dream did not happen "inside" a stadium. I don't want to be riding the truck indoors! Lol. Anyway, I am looking for this event to be over so I can move on. Detaching myself from it is almost impossible as I am in the middle of it all. There was a time in life where I wanted to be in the middle of everything and often was. I enjoyed the hype and excitement of an event. Where has that desire gone? If the entire city and its visitors we're all coming together to celebrate and have a party I think I would be more interested. But this is about everyone coming together to have parties of their own in different places. There may be a quarter million people here but they are all in their own spaces. During the game itself will be the only time everyone is together but then again that is only around 60,000. I used to perform with the Traveling Piano in the middle of crowds up to 100,000!

February 08, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

I do not know what to think or how to feel about the Superbowl and this journey! Being a rooting fan as a spectator with sports has never been my thing. Standing out as part of the whole inside an event or happening is my thing. This Superbowl happening in Las Vegas is really a big thing. But... what is a big thing? What makes a big thing? Is it the hype, the hoopla, the money involved, all the people? All the people are really in their own parties doing their own big things. The sky is lighting up at night out my window like the glow of fireworks from the new Sphere entertainment complex down the strip. I want to be excited and be awed by it all or... is that just what I think I should want? Because, not much excites me anymore. Even to pursue my own excitement... nah. Hence the fact that I am not part of the Superbowl in anyway. The Traveling Piano journey began specifically in the quest to be part of the Superbowl. Once again here I am skirting around the edges of what I want to be on the inside of? Maybe that is not what I really want. I do... want fun but the energy to pursue that is not there either. If this sounds like I am depressed, I'm not. Just always trying to figure things out and keep my head above water as to my truth of spirit and being honest with myself.

February 07, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

I missed seeing the Bradley Copper's Maestro in the movie theatre which was really disappointing for me. I knew it should have been seen on the big screen. The movie has been sitting on my computer desktop since it came out and I was waiting for the right time to watch it. Today was the day. It brought back so many memories of my past and my individualizing as a person into adulthood back in New York City, New Hope, PA and Philadelphia. I was reminded of having had a long life or at least it feels that way. Bernstein's Musical Candide remains my all time favorite musical and then of course West Side Story and I forgot about Bernstein's Mass until the movie reminded me. His music helped shape my early feelings in music. Intellectually, I have little understanding of it but through feeling I can reach the center of my core spirit. I can find that personal experience with many genres of music. The memories... I have been around many prominent events and happenings that have helped to shape the world I have grown up in always skirting the edges of it all or touching the core of those happenings lightly. I dabbled in the Classical world in many ways back when and Boradway and many other worlds of music. The way it has been for me is to create my own world. I've never felt like I could fit into anyone else's world. The feeling of not fitting in or securely belonging to anything will probably stay with me until I pass.

February 06, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

Mo will reach fourteen years of age on the 23rd. What a miracle after he was so close to dying at the end of last year. What a gift of life he is for me in every moment. Traveling Piano Dog Boner died on the 20th of the year Mo was born. I was able to let go of Bo with total gratitude. What work that was! But... the reward was Mo (already named) unexpectedly coming into my life while never ever dreaming of taking on stewardship for another dog. Mo was born in West Virginia three days after Bo died in Springfield Missouri. The possibility of having another dog was not in my mind although the desire was overwhelming. I am thinking about Mo's birthday card for this year. It is important for me, a symbol of what will be my happiest day in life. His yearly birthday cards are like a collection for me. All the gratitude I have experienced in life comes to the forefront on Mo's birthday because he is the cumulation of all the love I have experienced in life to date.

February 05, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

My clarity is saying that I need to find representation and management to continue. Someone or a company other than myself to help produce and find funding to produce the Traveling Piano on a larger level. Of course, that has always been milling around in my brain. It is either that now or just continue onward as it all just becomes less and less until it is no more. There is no sustaining at any level anymore. Establishing relationships can take years and then for that relationship to establish with others can take years and then projects can take years but then again at this point in the game I must believe that things can happen quickly and all at once. It is all perception in time. I know this fact from my life so... wonder when I will get off my ass and focus, use whatever drive I have left in me and make the decision for myself what I want to do so I can enjoy the process of growing or withering away.

February 04, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

Mo and I took a walk to Fremont street. We live on the Las Vegas Strip half way between Fremont Street and the big hotels in the opposite direction. Five years ago it took a half hour to walk it. Now it takes ten minutes more at the same pace with the same energy. Ahh... age. I am seeing it happen in front of me. For years I watched it happen with others. With my friend Gertrude, it was excruciating to eat with her. She was so slow! I am sure to her she was in a speed race with herself not to hold me up, lol. When interacting with people on the Traveling Piano. I need to consciously kick in my speed when talking to people in order to keep their attention now. In the old days it was difficult for them to keep up with what I was say because it was so fast. Now, its difficult for them because it is so slow!

February 03, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

All night I dreamt about slimy people like trump, musk, carlson, putin (carlson is flying over to Russia right now to give putin an interview to help gaslight Americans who are already sickos). Also, I ruminated on all those lost in their evil and about the worst of what is happening and may happen in the world today. And then there is my friend, the closest confident in life drifting away from our relationship. I would like to think as I get older all the friends drop naturally as they do for others but the fact is I've never had many friends at one time to drop. One goes, another comes in is how it has worked for me. While waking I dreamt of Taylor Swift. Lol, I watched her win big at the Grammy awards and have always been amazed at how much joy she alludes through her work and the desire for it, the appreciation for it, the sharing of it. This is what struck me most when I saw her on the Grammy's for the first time in 2008. She has an amazing about of fun with what she does. I have had an amazing amount of fun with what I do. How do I hold onto that and/or bring it back to the original level? I know one thing, the negative crap I hold onto in my brain is nothing more than a distraction from pursuing the joy.

February 02, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

With the Superbowl being this week and happening a few miles from where I live, my wildest dream ever back in 1987... having done a streak across the Superbowl field with piano music screaming from the Traveling Piano truck, that being a huge impetus for this present journey and my having a possible opening to have had it happen twice... I need to be clear so I do not beat myself up over it not happening at such an opportunist moment. I did pursue Oprah everyday for the first two years of this journey to help me manifest it. She showed zero interest even with an impressive showing from myself. It is all blogged here in this website. Anyway... never did I want to pursue the dream on my own. That is probably why it is not happening. Well, one of many reasons. Why have I not sought out someone else besides Oprah? And... this journey took me down another road anyway. I found my soul, purpose and most all that I ever wanted from life. Now, is it all ending? Maybe... possibly. Is it transitioning? It is not feeling that way although as I have said many times in the past, I have learned in life... feelings are not always facts.

February 01, 2024

Las Vegas, Nevada

Well now, the 218th month of this Journey begins. It is a rainy day. I must renew my reason and purpose for this continued blog. As my life gets less active so does the interest in writing about it. And, with the Traveling Piano... how much can I say that has not already been said? In the last year or so, I've begun to repeat myself as a result of memory lose as to what has been already said. Always, I have had short term memory so I hold onto thoughts as one long thought. That lasted for a long time through this blog! In the past I've known and stated when I am ruminating over certain negative issues ad nauseam for example with my weigh gain, or political and social issues, etc...but now it is different. And the positive, you can never get enough of that, eh? Of course, I am also in my eighteenth year so maybe I should give myself so leeway when beating myself up? I could look at everyday as a fresh start? Everyday blog entry could be like a chapter repeating itself over and over, lol.