HIS SPIRIT LIVES ON! ... BONER, THE PIANO DOG ... November 27, 1994 ... February 20, 2010
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November 30, 2016
I've been talking to myself out loud. Oh, No! Lol... I basically stayed in my motel room all day except for a walk with Mo and a drive to get pizza. (never good to eat a whole pizza) I'm not feeling well, but appreciative I am in an acceptable space, on a third floor to look out over buildings and whatever... with a window that opens to keep the room fresh with natural air and no one to bother me and... I need to create a concrete plan and structure that is solid that I can just do automatically without thinking for times like now when thinking is not possible in my brain. The day was not productive in any conventional sense. What is conventional? I've never been able to do conventional structure or create a concrete plan.
Life has always happened through a process for me, an every changing flow. Is my process over? The flow seems to be trickling. I just don't know what to think about all this. This I do know. 1. I am moving to China for how long I don't know. 2. I am going to raise money. 3. I will find a place to stay. 4. I will continue my work with the Traveling Piano throughout all that and do all of it at the same time. Do I have a choice? No. Well yes... I can choose to die. That is the only other choice for me. Here's the rub. For many years, Connecting with Oprah for my Superbowl dream existed along with China... well, but... well, yea its all still there in my dreams... why not... who cares... it is what it is.
November 29, 2016
I'm at a motel in Tempe paid for half, the other half is from reward points from other stays. The motel game is just what it is... a game. The ad on fee's are very irritating and I just won't accept the nickel and dime-ing. Fee's for booking online, then another additional fee at check in, taxes, service fee, resort fee, utility fee, hotel safe in room fee, reservation fee... as a matter of principal with they just can't be upfront... forget it. The room I am using has high ceilings which is nice and a big window for light that opens, its basically clean, when the doors shut to other rooms, its like a huge metal trash container outside being slammed shut. The sun was out today, and the temperature very cool compared to normal. Spending some time in Tempe with the Traveling Piano was the priority over finding a place to stay or raising funds, or moving forward in a different direction. I passed a church that had about a hundred fifty people outside waiting to get food and so I thought I'd stop to create some musical fun, and respect. I mean, its humiliating enough to have to get a number and stand in line for a handout. I wanted to help make it a little different for everyone.
The church members running the food distribution were not fun. They were not of trust and faith and all about... "who are you, what do you want" "what kind of music are you going to play" "we don't want it loud" "are you looking for money or what" and then right before I began to create music they said. "we want you to park on the other side of the parking lot over away from the people. I said... bu, bye! If your going to be of service to the lord, do it with trust, faith and joy or give the work to someone else! I found the center of Tempe where I had never been before and met some fun people visiting, locals and a few students going to school at the university. A homeless woman came by who just got a job. She was so happy and wanted to give me a tip. I told her to hold onto her money until she was more stable and then send me a contribution online if she wanted to. I met several people having a difficult day who thanked me for the exchange of friendship and the day went on like that... just the way it should have.
November 28, 2016
Maricopa County, Arizona
Last night the blow up mattress I was using deflated so I slept on the hard floor. I wanted to see how it would feel and as I laid down, thought of the millions of homeless people who do it every night on the ground outside. Everything seemed fine for abut two hours. I think as my body relaxed and with little meat or muscle now at my age, my internal organs must have shifted to hit rock bottom. Ouch, it hurt as I tossed and turned ever hour or so. Then throughout the day, wow did I hurt. Before leaving Scottsdale, Arizona my friend Dave took me out to a Lebanese restaurant with awesome tasting food. He got onto the Traveling Piano and we took a few selfies. I learned that Dave was an aid to the Commander in Chief of the Vietnam war. He thought I had known that and it dawned on me how I now understand his nature of acceptance and accommodation. He enjoys being of service to people but is not stupid about it. The time he spent in Vietnam opened his world to enjoying the diversity of people in it. He has spent much of his life since then traveling.
November 27, 2016
I sure I've said it before but I am amazed that I can continue "doing" in spite of how difficult it is. I visited and had dinner with my friends Rachel and Satya today. Rachel is a great cook and everything with one of Rachel's meals seems like an Indian dish even when its not... with so many different dishes always on the table. I've stayed with them both twice in the past, now is not a good time. Mo and I went to the dog park and I wanted to create some music for the last time here in the area. Of course we spent some time with people who were interested in the Traveling Piano. One older guy could barley get into the truck. It was one of those... where there is a will there is a way times and oh, how I love people like that. With everyone I meet I drop my situation into the conversation and it really makes everything messy, the fact that I am in great need of a place to live and stay for awhile. It naturally questions the agenda of the relating and dilutes the pureness of the Traveling Piano experience. What am I to do? If I don't tell anyone than no one can help me. Being vulnerable is not easy and I must help myself by at least putting the word out and seeking a solution at every turn.
I am without question getting more desperate by the day. There are people in my life that care but not enough to have us move in with them. Then there are those that care enough but I just can't inconvenience them in knowing how difficult I would make their lives as they do not have the space and need privacy, etc... and then there are those where it just cannot work because of situations where they have like six cats and I am allergic to them, etc... When I got back to where I am staying the guy I was going to start renting from tomorrow cancelled the deal because his girlfriend who stays there almost every night flipped out over the idea. You would think he would have asked her beforehand so I was not left with no place to go at the last minute. It was providential. I knew the situation would have been toxic but was going to do it anyway telling myself I could last a month at least as it was affordable. God saved me, lol! But now... wow, what do I do? I have no where to go tomorrow. Bottom line, I'm very grateful that I can keep the priority for my life of enjoying musical fun, friendship and respect through all of this. All I want for Christmas is... a place to live!
November 26, 2016
My friend Dave turned my onto a friend willing to rent a room in his house for $300 a month. We met and had a bite to eat. I'm not so sure about this place but it is for a month and I must to do responsible thing. What is that? I don't know but the stress of it all made me really sick with an old syndrome I used to get. I was in bed by four in the afternoon and really out of it all day.
November 25, 2016
I'm wiped out from yesterday with the Traveling Piano. I'm wiped out from eleven years of being on the road. Maybe I'm decompressing from the environment I'm in with the comfortable temperature, air and surroundings as in I'm totally crashing from stress. Dave went to visit his girl friend and to stay overnight so I am staying here in his place to enjoy the peace and serenity with Mo. Of course I'm always working processing pictures. etc... I had left over Thanksgiving dinner, the third this week and there is one more large dinner's worth left, lol!
November 24, 2016
I slept almost twelve hours. In a motel, there is not a lot of sleep to be had. Here I am at my friend Dave's place for a few nights. I woke up in a sunny room, in a comfortable bed with fresh air the temperature around 70 degrees. It feels almost tropical but it is not. My friend Wes got the website going again, I sat outside with a coffee on a fifth floor balcony thinking how I need to find a place to settle into somewhere now, like right now... grateful that my friend John had called to wish me a happy Thanksgiving and seeing that I was going to be alone all day, thankful that I had Thanksgiving with Stephen and Shehara two days ago. Dave had left for a dinner with his next door neighbor at another families house. It felt like the day was too beautiful to not take out the Traveling Piano, it has been years since I was in good weather on Thanksgiving day.
Also, it felt like I should not be alone so I found a community gathering in Phoenix online and headed in that direction. It was really good that I followed my intuition with everything. We hung out all day into the night with lots of people and there some delicious dinner to be had, plenty of it and... I left with two huge containers of leftovers. Mo found a perfect dog to play with in a large field where where were. My camera lens was not on correctly and as a result most of the pictures are blurred. Damm, on such a good day with so many people and so much fun, it happens. Everyday I'm reminding myself what is important and what is important is that I keep going with the flow even though there does not seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel. Living today to the best of my ability in musical fun, friendship and respect with my pup Mo, with my friend Dave's hospitality and lots of new friends in fellowship with them and the world... that was the correct thing to do.
November 23, 2016
Mo and I drove to Scottsdale, Arizona. An old friend we stayed with many years ago invited us for five days. We have a very interesting past together, I've known Dave since the beginning of the journey. We corresponded for many years and I thought he was three different people until we met and I pieced the puzzle together. Everything is really in the moment for my life right now. When asking for God to direct my life... allowing the Universe or whatever to move me while doing the footwork... I am reminded that if fear exists in that process I am not having 100% faith so, whatever I am consciously trying to do will not work. I must ask myself when asking for help do I fully want it, willing to accept it on God's terms or am I trying for half measures which avails me nothing. If fear exists I'm going for half measures and again, that has never worked for me. This website is down for the first time ever. Strange folders have appeared on the server. Dave's router is blocking my computer so I cannot get online but then I remembered I can use my iPhone. It is not the best situation but it works. I'm in a very comfortable apartment right now, Dave gave me his space in the garage to park, we are here for five nights and then again... must find an apartment or someone to stay with. It is time to settle down and reboot... anywhere, another country would be great or anywhere in the northern hemisphere.
November 22, 2016
Stephen and Shehara cooked their first big meal together today, a Thanksgiving meal for us and a goodbye meal for me as I will be leaving tomorrow and who knows what will be... It was fun watching them enjoy themselves making it and feel the accomplishment of it all being one hundred percent perfect! But most of all the love put into it for me, that was the best. Earlier in the day I packed things together, Mo and I took a hike in the woods. There was nothing special in a scenic way about the walk it was a path among huge pine trees in a huge field area. What was significant was the feeling of cleanliness, no tree debris, everything natural, healthy and vibrant. At another spot I created music just for myself thinking about how much I like Flagstaff, the people, environment, energy, pace of life, etc... I sent out a bunch of emails asking for help in finding a place to stay and/or rent. It is very, very difficult to move forward each time I do but hey, it is what it is. I'm living life and when its awesome it is oh so awesome... as in worth it. It was nine days staying here and felt like three.
November 21, 2016
It rained and actually snowed some today! Other than about three tinkle days, I have not seen rain in about eight months! It stopped long enough for me and Mo and Stephen to take a short walk in a nearby park. I'm posting a picture of myself and Mo laying flat out on top of a vortex from a few days ago. Need to get ready to leave again, painful! Going to Scottsdale, Arizona for five days to visit an old friend. I'm feeling weak and not clear headed. Wrapping my head around finding and having a home and creating work again or not... or just keep doing what I have been doing for the last eleven years until I don't anymore, or work towards a Traveling Piano future in another country... I just don't know. As I have been saying, I'm tired.
November 20, 2016
It rained today. The piano under the cover, just don't want to think about it. Tomorrow snow is forecast, oh well... I have more important things to worry about. Knowing my health situation kinda depresses me a bit. It is like a slow death but on some level it is also ok. Someone told me to eat garlic, lol. So I went out and purchased some garlic and a garlic press. Living in the moment knowing that all difficulty is an illusion, while giving space to all difficulty and just allowing it, while having faith that I am being taken care of that there is nothing to worry about, while asking spirit to direct my life in the most useful and purposeful way possible for the good of all, while letting go of all expectation well, it is a challenge I continue to embrace. Just look at all the fun that comes with it all. It is my life, I'm very grateful to have accomplished so much through the grace of god, the universe, etc... It is my life. Stephen cooked dinner with Shehara and had Mo and I over to eat. There is so much love between us, thank God for that.
November 19, 2016
There was a free health screening in Flagstaff so I went to it. I've been targeted for Diabetes my entire life and have been wanted to get tested for the last couple of years. I was clean. A doctor put his finger up my butt for a prostate test, nothing. High blood pressure and cholesterol... big problem. So now I know what has been going on. I had a very good idea without having had someone tell me. Its pretty serious. Onward... There is a hotdog place in town that looked tempting and interesting. Its a drive through place... as in drive through building. I went to get my last hotdog before dying. The girls working there wanted to try out the Traveling Piano. They got me going. The day was bright, warm and sunny. As I drove past downtown Flagstaff the street looked just too tempting to resist.
If I'm going to die I want to make the most of every minute I can with the Traveling Piano. I pulled up to a curb and it was all so nice. A few restaurant workers came out. Groups of people visiting town for the weekend... I really, really like the people I've come across in Flagstaff. They seem to be easy going and interested in living. A manager from a restaurant offered me a meal and it was a real treat. Someone else slipped me a hundred dollar bill when they were leaving. Gestures like this are so important to me. I don't look for them but when they happen well, it is a real "tell" about the energy of a place. I could live here. It was a great day for the Traveling Piano. Wish I knew what to do. Well, I'm doing it... living in the moment, giving life all I have to give. The friendship I experienced today with strangers was very comforting.
November 18, 2016
The journey has been happening strong but time seems to be slowing up. I drive, sleep, do a little work online, eat, post these pictures, process pictures for the people we have met to send to them, etc... There is practically no time to prepare for the future as in next week or find resources to continue... as in next week. I must spend as much time as possible with Stephen now because it feels like I will never see him again once I leave, as well as share the Traveling Piano and enjoy nature. We drove back to Sedona once again. The park we wanted to explore cost ten bucks so... screw that. We were meandering down a dirt road and two bicyclists crossed our path, caught our attention, wanted to see what the Traveling Piano was all about. They were huge energy and fun. As we drove on we found a magical creek, a swimming hole where I zoned out once again on a smooth red rock in the sun. As it was getting dark in a residential area we found another trail that led to a humongous sink hole that swallowed chunks of boulders larger than houses. The entire area was just beautiful with dessert growth and there were lots expensive custom made houses tucked away everywhere that blend into the dessert.
November 17, 2016
There was a strong pull to return to Sedona once again today again with Stephen. We explored looking for more marked vortex areas but first Stephen took us back to a spot yesterday near where we were that was away from people. He said he had specifically felt energy there. We climbed a mountain to find peace and quiet and energy that put me in an altered state of mind. My spirit was full of no earthy concerns and with stillness and relaxation. The three of us Mo, Stephen and myself laid there on the side of a hill staring out into wonder with no thought. It was heaven. The only place I ever felt that way before was in Glacier Park, Montana when I was hiking by myself about five miles into the wilderness. Before leaving we drove to a church built into the side of a mountain that a lady had built for her mother.
The place was touristy. On the way out a family caught our attention with interest about the Traveling Piano so we told them to meet us at the bottom by the entrance. It was a mom and dad with their son and daughter from Paoli, Pennsylvania about a half hour from where I used to own a home. That time spent was very special. We also met some locals who pointed out the Peanuts cartoon character Schroder's form in a distant rock formation playing the piano. That... was amazingly clear to see. Working with the Traveling Piano brings me to life. Spending time in nature brings balance to my life concerning the difficulties of living and let me tell you, its difficult right now when I think about survival outside of the music, people we have wonderful short relationships with and nature.
November 16, 2016
Mo, Stephen and I found a significant vortex today in Sedona. Piano Dog Boner and I found it back in 2007 and the energy there led us to Virginia Tech after the massacre at the schools calling. That is all written down in this blog from back then. In 2011 Piano Dog Mo and I synchronistically fell onto the spot again and I distinctly felt Bo's, Mo's and my spirit individually as one... probably the most significant experience I've ever had as a human being. Today what I found at the vortex was a park industry take over with railings and barb wire type fencing, paths and signs places to hang out with stuff for tourists to read. You can be sure fee's to be there will be soon to come.
There was a group of about eight people on the top that had laid out a blanket and were having a party while drinking beer and wine from glasses. So much for sacred, peacful, energy in nature. I spent a short time and ended up down with the Traveling Piano in the small parking area where the energy was fantastic for hours. We met a park ranger, a couple from back east on their honeymoon, a few beautiful women one from Australia the other local... it went on and on into the dark. Before leaving Mo and I took another trip to the top and were able to be all by ourselves, no people, no hoopla. Stephen was just great all day in giving me space and hiking around the area on his own.
November 15, 2016
The Grand Canyon, Arizona
My heart literally hurts everyday as a result of the recent election and what is happening and much worse what will happen as a result in the near future. When I hear people boast I become outright distraught. I see the past replicating itself with denial, propaganda, acceptance, false pride, and impeding doom. It is what it is. A large element of our society has turned to the dark side and I am sure most of them do not even realize it. There is no chance they will wake up. We have all gone over the tipping point. To be angry at this point is to be angry at myself as we are all one. But whenever possible I will detach from those who have chosen what some would call evil. I don't know what to call them the disappointment overpowers all thought. Everyone supporting the new regime change I will address when they try to propagandize me or they cross my path in any way. Otherwise it is critical that I focus my life to the best of my ability, more than ever on love and inclusion. I would be wrong to waste my fun, friendship and respect with those who will keep it only for themselves or throw it away. "Those" are anyone who voted for trump, made a protest vote or did not vote at all.
Stephen, Mo and I drove to the Grand Canyon today and there was a thirty dollar fee to see it. That fact is the worst of the worst. While I felt sort of glazed over with the absolutely amazing scenery, I thought about all the people unable to enjoy their basic human right to be with the splendor of nature on this planet because the government park industry has taken control of it for profit. There are those who rationalize and justify and... just no. It is wrong, it is wrong, it is wrong. Since I was last here in the 70's there are now pink tourist vehicles running all over the place with asphalt and cement paths, railings, restricted areas, signs and information panels, huge parking lots for bused in tourists, souvenir stores, museums it was absolutely disgusting everywhere. There is no way to feel the pureness of nature in an environment like that so domesticated and cultivated. My health was really bad through all of it with difficulty in breathing but still, being with Stephen and looking out into the nature when able to ignore what I was standing in... well, it was very special indeed.
November 14, 2016
What am I doing, were am I going, what am I going to do? Steven from my old home town of Philadelphia just moved to Flagstaff a month ago with his fiancee Shehara and I was two hours away so, I had to see him. I love him very much. He has been in my life since the day he was born. I was very close with his mom. His family was family to me for a very long time. He helped me move from my house when I sold it for this journey, he helped me two years ago when I was in a bind with moving my archives from West Virginia. It will be "very" difficult to leave him once I see him again. He's one of just a few people left in my life. In Flagstaff I found a basic budget motel. The money is looking disastrous. Cinder block walls... across the street freight trains are constantly rumbling by. Thats probably why the walls are cinder block. Anything else would probably vibrate and fall apart. Ahh... the sweet smell of disinfectant covering the mildew of a motel room that has been used 100,000 times. Its a two bed room. I laid on the bed and looked over at the other to see a grey waxy film over the entire bed sheet next to me. Gross or what... It feels like I'm in a cell block with a tiny window where the most minimal light can break through. Motels are getting scammier and scammier. Even the cheapest places now are pulling crap like there is the price, then the tax, then a utility fee and then a resort fee which is a fee for nothing except the name. Why can they not simply be straight forward with the price they want!
November 13, 2016
I'm always thinking about where I want to go in my brain about what is going on in there. See... did that make sense? My brain is not working well these days. But then again it never has. I've always had more success feeling my way through life rather than thinking it. How can I best serve the world, what do I want to communicate through this journey? People in my life who have passed where such great role models for me. To the very end, they put their best foot forward never complaining, only showing the good for me to see even though I knew the difficulties they were having. With this blog, I don't seem to be able to do that. It is what it is... that seems to be the bill of fair. Sometimes I wonder about how real I should be or not. Anyway, I just do the best I can and its all real. A truly amazing thing happened. It is pure journey "stuff" at the highest level. On twitter I have about 25,000 followers. I've only had a "real" connection about four times since 2009. Its not a social platform for me, more of a Traveling Piano awareness dumping ground of info platform. There is a young kid I connected with for some reason in Nebraska several years ago named Steve. He took an interest in the Traveling Piano and for some reason he just felt special like a really good guy and he stuck in my mind. Through the years there have been just a few comments, likes, etc... from him on the account. Last night he saw I was in Kingman and tweeted to me that he has been here for three weeks now. It is so fun to have two people from such distance randomly connect in person. He plays the piano and it was so beautiful I almost cried. It just felt like he was sharing his love. He made a point of wanting to give me thirty bucks saying he may never see me again and have the opportunity to contribute.
He could only hang out for a short while but our brief connecting breathed so much life into the journey... when things like this happen they become validation to just keep going. I just don't seem to have the where-with-all to do decide what to do and how... especially with practically no support financially or in the physical sense. My mind never has worked well but now... wow, I've been really dizzy for the last twenty four hours. It could be stress, fear, blood pressure, diabetes, weight, disintegrating disks in my neck, a brain tumor, the black widow spider bite from two months ago that I still feel in my toe... lol, whatever. I've been dizzy every day since the spider bite. While I was waiting for Steve an ice cream truck passed and offered me some ice cream. A woman who passed by stopped for a short spell. It just occurred to me right now as I am writing this that if I truly care about how much people need, want and enjoy everything the Traveling Piano is... it might be time to pass the torch and not let it die with me. But... how can I do it while creating some stability for myself. It is all I have. I know a hundred ways and have developed many in my mind and have even written a lot down but being able to follow through with clarity and focus to manifest any one idea... it just has not been happening. This morning I thought about probably easy a thousand people who have asked me over the years, "what are you going to do when the money runs out" well... the money ran out over a year ago and what am I doing? You have been reading it. Thank God for a few friends that have been keeping me barely alive with contribution every month.
November 12, 2016
Well, I felt better this morning than last night. Last night was not good at all. Depression, sadness, confusion, disappointment, loneliness, not able to think... did I mention fear? Anyway, I must find a home, I do not think I can go on much longer. Been asking around with not much luck. A feeling of being worthlessness came over me as I thought about how people will forget my worth and work as I drift away and in trying to find a new way to live I have no skills, don't want any and don't want to go backwards in doing what I've already done and so in people's eyes... worthless. Then I reminded myself that I must create my own feeling of self worth it is an illusion to think that it comes from other people. There is no question that my life has been a complete success and this journey has zero regrets. No one needs to know my accomplishments except me. It is important for me to know for myself. Decided to drive somewhere to take Mo for a walk and we found a dog park. After a few minutes I realized we have been to Kingman, Arizona before and to the very dog park we found! It was in 2012. Wow, there are not many places in this United States where we have not been at least once now. The day was beautiful and so I emptied the back of the truck to create some music. Instantly I knew I was healing. Then some people came over and I began to feel even better. Wow, I really needed that! When I try to think about what to do my mind goes blank. But when I saw the smile on a little girls face today as she created music for the first time... well, all is good.
November 11, 2016
Damm, we are getting thrown out of another motel. Not really, but it feels that way. Maybe really, I don't know. They said I can't rebook the room I have after the reservation is up and I don't want to go to one of the crummier rooms. There are at least twenty reasons why this could be happening. It is not the first time and serves no purpose to wonder why or try to figure it out. Bottom line, the feeling of rejection (which I realize is not real) the need to move on again (which is real) is just almost too much to take. Deep inside it feels like God, the universe or whatever is propelling me to go forward, keep moving because I know... one week in this place and I will stay until the money runs out. So very much I want to become secure in one place as in a home where I can stay as long as needed. I am doing the best I can and ordered a pizza knowing it won't help. (another illusion) Thinking is too overwhelming for me. Mo and I are hanging by a thread with no direction or place to go. Wow, I said from the start of this journey almost eleven years ago for better or worse, it is what it is and now... here we are in the very precarious situation. All the huge things I've done, all the accomplishments over the years, all the feeling of "worthwhile" is slipping from my brain. It feels like people now see me as a homeless, worthless, wondering old man who is trying to get other people to take care of him, just a loser in life. Damm, I know the reality. Some strangers may perceive me that way and its none of my business and know there are many thousands of people, at least... who know me, care about and appreciate everything about me and this journey. Lol, this is the most downer post I've ever made. I can tell you this... its not drama thats for sure. Where is the music? Help!
November 10, 2016
Going back east was a bad idea. I'm glad I realized it this early in the game. The person I was going to stay with, there is a history... bottom line, we are very different. The person thinks they are on the same spiritual path as I... wrong. Politically we are one hundred percent polarized. Dealing with differences has never been a problem for me. Throughout the years in staying with over a hundred and fifty different people, I've been around the block so to speak. It is all about respect with boundaries and limits. Problem is... many people do not know how to respect differences, they think they do but they do not. The situation would have been toxic for me and I just can't handle toxicity in my life anymore. It is what it is. So, the potential for a home... nada.
Mo and I are at a Red Roof in Kingston AZ four nights free. I can't read the news. Everyone I meet is justifying trump. I basically need to stay numb or I get very angry and confused. You know I am aware on deep levels the consequences coming down the pike. Most people will begin to put their heads in the sand as it all happens. I will not be able to do this and wish I could give people the feeling of sharing empathy and compassion.
November 09, 2016
Lake Isabella, California
It is a dark day for human kind. Clinton won the popular vote but that gives little consultation. People do not reaize what will now happen to the world environmentally as a result of their vote. We who voted with love and responsibility must remember their are over 50,500,000 people like us living with us here in America. As the world deteriorates we must remember we are all one in spirit and that is all there is. I'm going to need to know you are with me in spirit and I know I am with many of you. Concerning Joy in Our Lives, there is little doubt as a result of this election that millions of people, more than already are will suffer and die on our planet, become very sick from lack of environmental concern as well as from war, exclusion and self-serving hate. Unfortunately, the stand for separation verses inclusion, hate verses love was stronger. As life deteriorates in resulting segments, people will adapt each time to a little less joy. As despair, sadness, death and suffering takes the place of joy... people will begin to forget what joy is until... there is none. The mind is easily indoctrinated, denial oriented for survival and swayed for the sake of self-serving ego.
We must all take a stand now individually to preserve joy and continue to share joy with others. I want to tell people not to negate the injustices, not to stick their heads head in the sand about horrors as they manifest. We must continue to remind ourselves constantly in every moment what joy is, feels like... create it for ourselves but more importantly, create it for others. Now is the time to begin the practice, now. We must keep the spirit of joy alive. Show it. Feel it. Share it in the tiniest steps, in the shortest moments. Remember to remember. Detach from haters and relate in person with supporters of love and those open to it. As I was driving yesterday I was thinking how the world needs the Traveling Piano work now more than ever. This is specifically true because people are not paying for, or being solicited with or for anything during the transfer of love and joy... the one-on-one musical, fun, friendship and respect they receive. It is truly a powerful tool in order to successfully bring people together and validate, reassure everything it is to be human as one. Unfortunately, the Traveling Piano is happening less and less because I do not have the resources to continue. Please help us to share what is most important for life without any other agenda as we have been doing for the last ten years. We all need the Traveling Piano now more than ever.
November 08, 2016
Lake Isabella, California
Last night I dreamt the entire night on political issues. For the last two weeks, for several nights I have been dreaming complete on the election. It is not because I've been obsessed, it is because I care. I am so thankful to now be able to say I have a clear consciousness, that I did everything I could possibly do to show respect for the human race through my deflection of support for Trump. As far as those who did support him for whatever reason I say... thank God I do not have to live with you. I'm thinking about a pink breasted hummingbird that came up and sat on a tree branch still, for about three minutes looking at me, just being with me for the last time on the deck in the morning with my coffee where we have been stying. Through the strength of spirit now in my life, it is a moral obligation for me to stand up to indoctrination and to address hate in myself responsibly through action and to show that for the world... action for the sake of love. I am gifted in being able to have experienced the love of my parents even though they were indoctrinated and lacked responsibilities concerning life. Love truly does conquer all. It overrides all injustice, ignorance, prosecution and hate.
November 07, 2016
Lake Isabella, California
Guy who owns the place where we have been staying came today and will be here until we leave on Wednesday. Mo and I drove to town to pick up some flyers, the paper I give out to people when I meet them with my contact information so they can get their pictures and find this website. I should have put the GoFundMe address on them but did not think of it in time. As crazy as it is, I had a package of paper that I've been carrying around for I don't know how long so all I had to pay for was the printing. We drove to the rivers edge for one last time with music and met a guy there who has been living in a camper for the last three years. He was lonely, very friendly, my age and full of spirit and we were able to spend some quality time together as new friends talking about life and his past. That felt really good. I showed him how to create music. He has a harmonica but found the tutorials he has seen online difficult to grasp and so gave up on it. My approach to creating his own music was new and easy for him. Then I created music for myself and he just stood with me listening for like ten, fifteen minutes in awe and appreciation. I wished I could have spent more time with him. I wish I could spend more time with all homeless people. They all deserve extra care without judgement no matter what. The guys story sounded like it was missing something but was that really any of my business? I did not want to apply suspicion when I could have been wrong. It would not have been helpful. I've learned in life that just because I cannot imagine a situation or a situation seems it can not be possible does not mean that it can't be.
November 06, 2016
A House On A Hill, California
Mo and I spent our last morning alone on the deck in the warm sun with a cup of coffee laying in the lounge chair in peacefulness with amazing scenery all around us. I brought to mind and hopefully in spirit all my family and friends who have passed as well as living even the one's I never want to see again who are living, lol... and all I felt with everyone was gratitude. All day I couldn't do anything, orient myself to function with purpose except for online doing what I do with people about the election. At night we went outside once again and while laying with Mo in the lounge chair stared at and tried to comprehend space with an untold amount of stars. They twinkled more than I ever saw before and I was wondering if it was my eyes, my mind or clouds passing over them but if it was clouds I wouldn't have been able to see them. The twinkling was real.
November 05, 2016
Isabella Highlands, California
I'm trusting myself to trust in God, Spirit, the Universe, etc... That can be a challenge. The challenge is in knowing my truth, whether I am being honest with myself. I was thinking about what all of us have in common together, something we can all to do together at the same time for the sake of peace and love. We can all take a deep breath and think about being together in and through breathing, nothing more. My expression of my intent through words and actions has been questioned concerning this election. With that the... you can't please everyone phrase comes to mind. So who am I to please? Myself through my intent. I must trust myself and know my intent clearly. Also, everyone interprets according to their own individual experiences and agendas. Some are not aware that there are in fact other individual experiences and agendas different from their own or think if they are different they are wrong. It is very gratifying to be able to deflect the projection of others onto me and not to embrace that. Still it is difficult and always hurts my feelings a bit when I am called on what other people consider to be my shit. Mo and I drove to the Isabella Highlands today. It was a community in the mountains with no stores but had street signs. There were no views up there but on the way up and down... wow!
November 04, 2016
Kern County, California
When I leave here I'm going to miss the hummingbirds even though they do get on my nerves from time to time. Its like I am in countdown mode working on momentum still not exactly sure where I am going to go and how I will survive. There is so much up in the air, so much uncertainty but I'm up to the challenge for today at least. Its very difficult to keep my brain functioning, literally. That is nothing new but still it is always like new. So my living on faith... there's not much choice because my brain is not dependable. It never has been.This is where the feeling my way through life comes into play. Is there any other way? I don't think so. I'm working to remember who and what I really am, simply spirit in God's love with no need for fear or to think in terms of suffering. Ha, easier said than done. Still, I am amazed when I think about my situation and how eleven years ago I could never have never dreamed of what it would be like homeless, no resources and no place to go comparable to what I left behind... out of choice for this journey. What is more amazing is the number of others around the world who are in the same place as I and much worse... compared to ten years ago and not out of choice.
November 03, 2016
I laid low today, yesterday wore me out. The giant sequoias, I wonder if I have it in me to drive back into that area again before I leave. The idea of leaving is draining my energy. The time I've had alone by myself over the last two months has been so precious to me. The guy I am renting from is coming to stay the last few days so I have like two more days alone just me and Mo. Questions: do I take a straight run cross country? Take my time, stop and see nature? Need to think about the money, do I stay in motels, where, set up in advance and the trade off that would entail? Try and stay with people while crossing... what if I get to my friend Tom's house back east and can't take it? He has a cat... I'm getting more allergic as time goes on, especially with cat litter and he has two dogs... what if they don't like Mo and want to rip him apart, that can be such a hassle to deal with in short term stays but this would be a longer stay because once I get there I will be penniless. Hope the truck can make it for one last run cross country, its really putt, putt-ing. I need to remember, one day at a time, live in the moment, have faith, go with the flow, breath, enjoy, feel gratitude and appreciation and love life.
November 02, 2016
Sequoia National Monument, California
Since I arrived in the area I've been wanting to do the trail of one hundred giants in Sequoia National Monument. It is also known as Redwood or Long Meadow Grove. The place is all about giant redwood trees up to two thousand years old still growing in the forrest. I found redwoods earlier in the year up north along the coast and can nature like this get any better? No. Unfortunately the area is no longer really a forrest because bark beetles have infiltrated the area. At least 50% of the trees have had to be taken down so the really big redwoods stand alone in the open air with hundreds of dead giant pine trunks laying everywhere at their bottoms. It was kind of bittersweet to see but still absolutely amazing. We met people with the Traveling Piano and they took some pictures of Mo and I while I created music under the trees but most of them did not want to get onto the piano for themselves or have their pictures taken. People are without question in rural areas becoming even more reserved than they already were in the past. This is not the case in large cities.
One guy was super friendly, unusually so and it felt really good. Interestedly, later at night I was on twitter and a message came through from him. He did not know I was on twitter, the timing was totally synchronistic, I have 26,000 followers on twitter and since 2009 when I joined there have been only three connections with people, one new one, someone I knew from the past and this guy. Even more strange, I connected with him through a direct message that came to my computer mail server. I never read direct messages on twitter because they are all spam and I don't correspond with anyone via that source and... I never before have had a direct message flow into my computer mail server from twitter. Anyway, I wanted to reconnect again in person but don't think that will happen. Do I now scare people, lol? Maybe... As time moves on I become more real as an individual and I realize that energy can be very scary. Driving to and from the redwoods was akin to driving in Alaska in many ways. Sometimes, I felt on top of the world. In fact I met another guy from Alaska today... second day in a row. Look how small I am compared to the tree in the picture!
November 01, 2016
Damm, the need to be responsible politically has seeped back in to my daily activities. I've been online supporting those voting for Hillary Clinton and bashing, blocking and dumping Trump supporters from my life. When out working with the Traveling Piano no political affiliation is allowed and I'm actually afraid to know what other people are thinking because I don't want to fly off the handle. I needed to get out today and just drove around in the scenery. My breathing was not good and it made me wonder how I am going to get across country. It was a warmish fall day. In Kernville I stopped to take Mo out for a short walk in the park and to see how how I could function physically. The breeze was delicious and so I thought I'd just create some music for myself where I parked. After a short while someone pulled into the parking spot next to us because they just saw a picture someone else had taken on facebook. The interactions began. A newlywed couple got onto the piano to play. The girl was from Palmer, Alaska where Mo and I visited back in 2010 and it is so much fun to meet people who are from places where we have had great times. When I was done with the people and music in perfect weather... I felt totally alive, healed, energetic, breathing easy, completely rejuvenated. So what does that tell you?